[sleeps for 70 years to avoid adulthood and become captain america]
Why isn’t there a flower shop called Florist Gump that just sells flowers and boxes of chocolates year round?
Valentines Day? More like outtatime day i forgot to get you a gift.
Why celebrate Valentines Day when I can just Valencry all day.
in the south
- we only refer to people as y’all. that group of people over there? y’all. our mamas? y’all. you? y’all.
- everyone chews tobacco
- we have wells where we can draw up sweet tea from the ground
- nobody pursues education past the age of 12
- we all know how to run a farm
- we cry about the civil war at least once a day, twice on sundays
- only country music plays. ever